Peace Of Despair

Sometimes being disadvantaged is also an advantage.

Credit: 75central

We live in an era, where everybody is struggling. Some struggle to be the best, some struggle to get the best, and some struggle to bring out the best.

A very close aunt of mine was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 20. Her daughter was determined to become a doctor — a cancer specialist in particular — and when her mother was on total bed rest — almost 63 — her daughter, cleared her final examination and today stands tall as a doctor.

I have met her daughter, and I am just overwhelmed with emotions when I see how strong she is. “You are so brave” is what I told her last time, when I met her at her mother’s fifth chemotherapy. This time she herself was operating on her mother.

The cognitive dissonance, at a time where her mother’s life was in her own hands inspired me.

Tears rolled from her eyes and just touched her cheeks, when instantly she wiped it. Took a deep breath and smiled looking at me. “I could see through the crack,” she said.

She enlightened me how broke she once was when she discovered about her mother’s cancer and how she managed to come out of all the obstacles just because of her determination and the yearning to cure her mother’s pain. That one act of channelizing the despair into a meaningful purpose changed everything for her.

I strongly feel that once you can look for silver linings in the cloud, you will realize that it is not dark yet. All the tribulations will not be the hurdles in your journey but the excitement that make your journey worth experiencing; may be not happy always, but still worth the experience. All the efforts you put in, you will put in with all your heart, with all your mind, and come what may, you will cross the finish line, and when you do, you will be infinity.

I remember having a conversation with Prasang — well technically my boss — en route a meeting, about looking at the bright side. “Would Adele be what she is now if she had given up on life after her heartbreak?” Prasang asked and it hit me with a bullet of thoughts.

We know Adele and her most famous song, Someone Like You. She revealed the story in one of her concert what made her write all what she did, and that it was because of the heartbreak.

Lucky are those, who find what they want and why do they want it. Because those are the people, we should fear, admire, look up to. These people have brought meaning to their life themselves with sheer dedication and continued optimism.

Walter D Wintle beautifully captured the essence in a poem called The Man Who Thinks He Can:

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.

Screwed up situations are not bad — rather they are situations that bring the best in someone. When you are in one, you feel distress and gloom but by identifying a way to turn it into a purpose, you will be filled with zest and a thirst you now have to fulfill.

A knight in shining armor is a man who has never had his metal truly tested.

I do not know anything about luck, but one thing I am certain about — once you get to that point where you squeeze the motivation even out of hopelessness, suddenly because of all the uncertainty that there was, you find clarity.

Sometimes being disadvantaged is also an advantage, and you will figure out everything in due time. Dots connect only in the hindsight.

“You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” 
— Steve Jobs

Don’t fear the challenge, instead welcome it.

I, myself, haven’t yet found that one driving force, but I am adamant, that once I do, I would not want to leave any stones unturned.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and this is true in every sense. Like a bottle of wine that gets better with every year, every snag makes you at least an inch stronger than your previous self. Even if you fail, you outdo your previous self, and from where I see it, that is anything but failing. Think about it, have you actually failed? Because last time I checked, it ain’t over until you win.

And remember, no one gives to you, you have to take it. Spot the silver lining and take the ride.


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